Shame

Why we fall silent when life hurts – and what freedom lies in taking off our own armour. In extreme cases, silence can be life-threatening. It quietly isolates us from the inside out, gnaws at our self-confidence, and in the worst case costs lives. Why, then, is it still so hard for us to speak up when life hurts? Viewed without blame, our silence is an old suit of armour. Across generations – through wars, poverty, and the hard reconstruction after 1945 – an iron rule of survival applied: pull yourself together and function. Our ancestors had to pack away their pain in order to build the prosperity we enjoy today. Their silence was not coldness, but necessity. ...

Once upon a time there was a black sheep. It lived in a village full of sheep and carried a bucket with it. A bucket of filth. Everything it had not allowed itself to be, everything the village had not wanted to see, lay in it. It could not put the bucket down. For a time the sheep thought about tipping the bucket out. Over the others. They should turn black too, it thought, then it would no longer be alone. It imagined nights in which it moved through the village spraying colour. The thought warmed and poisoned at the same time. ...