Personal Development on jochum.dev

The Man Who Lost Everything and Received Twice as Much

Sat, 30 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Once there was a man who was good. Blameless and upright, one who shunned evil. He was good the way a stone is still — from birth, without ever having chosen it.

Then the dark forces came. They took from him first what was outside: his possessions and the people he loved. Then they reached inward, toward his body and his sleep. They wanted to know whether goodness would hold when the ground was pulled from under it.

The Black Sheep with the Bucket

Wed, 27 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Once upon a time there was a black sheep.

It lived in a village full of sheep and carried a bucket with it. A bucket of filth. Everything it had not allowed itself to be, everything the village had not wanted to see, lay in it. It could not put the bucket down.

For a time the sheep thought about tipping the bucket out. Over the others. They should turn black too, it thought, then it would no longer be alone. It imagined nights in which it moved through the village spraying colour. The thought warmed and poisoned at the same time.

The Quiet Violence of Victimhood

Wed, 27 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

There is a form of self-destruction that feels like protection. It is called: I am the victim, everyone else is to blame.

I know this attitude from the inside. For years I was the poor one. When something did not work, it was down to the circumstances or the people around me. Above all to my parents. They were the address for my blame for years, for much that I should have stood up for myself.

This Too Shall Pass

Sun, 24 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday I helped a family bury their dog. We accompanied him to his last breath. A dear, dear fighter — for those he loved. I read Psalm 23 to the family — so they could see: even this dark valley passes.

In the evening I thought: now I will do something good for myself. I went out to celebrate. Into bed at six in the morning, fell straight asleep. Up again at two in the afternoon. The day was depressive.

The Oppressed Oppress, the Free Make Free

Thu, 21 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I write this not from theory. I was a victim long enough to know what that feels like from the inside. And I have myself oppressed — made people feel small, relieved myself at their expense, passed on the burden that lay on me. Both belong to me. Neither is to be glossed over.

Today I am free. Or more precisely: I am on the way. I am trying to be a warrior of light, in Coelho’s sense — that is, someone who falls, rises again, doubts, keeps going. Not a hero. A practitioner.

Less Is More

Tue, 19 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

The ancients built upward: roads, houses, knowledge, peace. We inherited it. That deserves respect.

Today we have everything. Information. Choice. Comfort. Stimulation without end. And we lose: depth. Quiet. Space in the mind.

Whoever has everything must learn to have nothing.

Jesus went into the desert. Mohammed into the cave. Both had nothing for a while. Only then came what we know them for.

In the emptiness the gaze becomes clear. Without noise one hears what is one’s own. Without possessions the hands are free.

The Centre Lies in Duality

Sat, 16 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Mania and depression. Day and night. Light and shadow.

For a long time I fought against one of the poles. I believed one was my enemy. I believed I had to choose.

Today I know better.

Freedom comes first. It is the first thing we receive — from God, from life, from what carries us. With it I decide every day how I live with both poles.

One choice: to lose oneself in one pole. To identify with it. To take it for the whole truth. To fight against the other.

Thinking Outside the Box as a Profession

Sat, 16 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I was never good at staying in the lane. My mind constantly draws connections that are simply not foreseen within the lane. Theology and geopolitics. Music and spirituality. Austrian narrowness and global thinking. This was often read as unreliability. As if “staying focused” were a synonym for “seeing less far.”

I grew up in a conservative culture. Austria maintains its forms. That has its value — continuity, depth, rootedness. But it also costs something: whoever thinks laterally pays for it. With isolation. With the feeling of never quite belonging.

At the Door — How Combat Mode Can Help as a First Responder

Fri, 15 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

It was a hard day. Someone I love was transferred to a more intensive psychiatric ward. I was there. There was trust. That is enough to say.

The Scene

At a door. My hand. A sentence, quietly: “They will do you good.” Trust had found a way through the storm.

What I felt in that moment: love. Simple. Complete. Fear too, yes — but the courage was greater. And the courage came from the fear that someone would experience what I had to experience.

When You Understand Too Much — A Guide for Men Who Carry Too Much

Fri, 15 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

You understand her. Really. You see what shaped her, where her wounds sit. You can predict her reactions before they happen. That feels like love.

It is love too. But it is a love with a blind spot.

Understanding as a Trap

The blind spot is not understanding itself. It is the confusion of understanding with taking away burden.

Understanding can also mean: I see what hurts you — and I say it anyway. Understanding can demand. If it does not demand, it is not understanding. Then it is conflict avoidance disguising itself as understanding.

My Path to the Authentic Self

Tue, 05 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

The person wants to be good. The compass sits in the heart.

The sensitive person especially. They do not want to hurt — and that is exactly what makes them small. They swallow, they adapt, they wait. And yet the opposite is true: whoever sets no boundaries is not authentic. They are merely polite.

Setting boundaries requires the shadow. Whoever knows only their light cannot say no — because the no comes from the dark part, the one that can also fight, that can also protect. Getting to know one’s own shadow and allowing it is not a defeat. It is the precondition for real boundaries. And for real authenticity.

A Warrior Knows Pain

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0000

A sentence everyone knows. One we heard as children when we fell, when we cried, when we were afraid. Get up. Stop making a fuss. A warrior feels no pain.

I cross out the “NO.” Not because I want to destroy the sentence — but because it is the wrong way round.

A warrior knows pain. That is exactly what makes them strong.

The Wounds

Imagine you come back from the hunt. It did not go well. You carry wounds. Real ones, not just metaphorical — though the metaphorical ones hurt just as much. Childhood, loss, loneliness. People who left. People who should have stayed. Things that happened and things that should have happened but did not. Trust that was broken. Dignity that was denied. Grief that never had a place.

Naming the Kowtow

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Someone says yes and means no. This happens constantly — in meetings, in therapy groups, at the kitchen table. I call it kowtowing. And I am learning more and more to name it.

What Kowtowing Is

Kowtowing is not listening. Not thinking. Not holding back. Kowtowing is agreement without conviction — performative, automatic, conflict-averse. The mouth says yes, the body says something else.

In addiction therapy you encounter it constantly. I learned it as a client — in myself and in conversations with other clients. Someone sits in the group, nods, says: “Yes, that’s right.” Sounds like insight. Is adaptation. And from that moment on, everyone is working with false data.

The Common Thread — How One Word Connects Eleven Texts

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Eleven texts on this site. Different topics, different lengths, different registers. Rebellion in France and Austria. Punk in Vorarlberg. Communication. Pigeonholing. Family history. Meaning and motivators. A Williamson quote.

Only on looking back did I notice that all of them circle around the same word.

Kowtowing.

Where the Word Comes From

January 2026, LKH Rankweil. I talk with people — patients, nurses, doctors, an AfD voter, people at various stages. I ask them: tell me honestly when I am being annoying. No performative nodding. No polite yes that means no.

I Need a Motivator

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I have been addicted to a screen for over twenty years. To a pattern. Beneath it lies the hunger for attention — for being seen. When I pay attention, I can live with it. When I forget, I am immediately back in it.

The question — “What is the meaning of your life?” — has always done me harm. It was, and partly still is, too big.

What helped me was something else.

Talk Less, Say More

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0000

The way I communicate is constantly changing.

This becomes visible in my work on a technical project where AI is part of my daily life. I am currently working on it alone.

What is changing is not only what I say, but how much, when and with what limits.

This is far from finished. But I notice that something is happening.

I Have Always Talked Too Much

This is not new.